IS IT SO?

A young monk lived in a village in Japan. He was very famous, and had great reputation. The whole village worshiped and respected him.  But one day everything changed. A young girl in the village became pregnant and gave birth to a child. When her family asked her whose child it was she said it was the child of the young monk!

How long does it take for admirers to become enemies? How long? It does not take even a short while because inside the mind of an admirer condemnation is always hidden. The mind just waits for a chance, and the day admiration ends, condemnation begins. Those people who show respect can change in one minute to being disrespectful. The people who are touching a person's feet can within a moment start cutting the same person's head. The people of the whole village attacked the monk's hut. For a long time they had been showing respect to the monk but now all the anger that they had suppressed came out. Now they had the chance to be disrespectful, so they all ran to the monk's hut and set it on fire and threw the tiny baby at him.  The monk asked, "What is the matter?"  The people shouted, "You are asking us what the matter is? This child is yours! Do we have to tell you what the matter is? Look at your burning house, look within your heart, look at this child and look at this girl. There is no need for us to tell you that this child is yours."  The monk said, "Is it so? Is this child mine?" The child started crying so he started singing a song to make the child silent, and the people left him sitting by his burnt-out hut.

Then he went to beg at his usual time, in the afternoon - but who would give him food today?  People started walking behind him, teasing him, throwing stones. He reached the house of the girl whose child it was. He said, "I may not get food for myself, but at least give some milk for this child ! I may be at fault, but what is the fault of this poor baby?"

The child was crying, the crowd was standing there - and it became unbearable for the girl. She fell at the feet of her father and said, "Forgive me, I lied when I gave the name of the monk. I wanted to save the real father of the child, so I thought of using the name of this monk. I don't even have any acquaintance with him."

The father became nervous. This was a great mistake. He ran out of his house, fell at the feet of the monk and tried to take the baby from him. The monk asked, "What is the matter?"  The girl's father said," Forgive me, there has been a mistake. The child is not yours."  The monk replied, "Is this so? Is the child really not mine?"  Then the people of the village said to him, "You are mad! Why didn't you deny it this morning?"

The monk said, "What difference would it have made? The child must belong to somebody. And you had already burnt one hut - you would have just burnt one more. You had enjoyed defaming one person, you would have enjoyed defaming one more. What difference would it make? The child must belong to someone - it could also be mine. So what is the problem?" The people said, "Don't you understand that everybody condemned you, insulted you, humiliated you very much?"  The monk answered, "If I had been concerned with your condemnation, I would have been concerned about your respect also. I do as I feel right; you do whatever you feel to be right. Until yesterday you felt it right to respect me so you did. Today you felt it right not to respect me so you didn't. But I am not concerned with either your respect or your disrespect.

The people said to him, "Gentleman, you should have realized that you would lose your good reputation."  He replied, "I am neither bad nor good. I am simply myself. I have dropped this idea of good and bad. I have dropped all concern in becoming good because the more I tried to become good, the more I found that I became bad. The more I tried to escape from badness, the more I found that goodness was disappearing. I dropped the very idea. I became absolutely indifferent. And the day I became indifferent, I found that neither goodness nor badness remained inside. Rather, something new was born which is better than goodness, and which does not even have a shadow of badness about it."

 

Tumne Mujhe Dekha Kya Dekha (You saw only an image…)

Those were the days in early 80’s in Kolkata when I used to travel by Lake Road to Howrah Station minibus. A few of us guys used to occupy the last rows and have our adda all the way from Lake Road to Dalhousie.

There used to be a pretty young lady who used to board the bus at Lake Market and occupy one of the front rows. After the first few days we exchanged glances; she used to smile shyly and nod appreciatively at some of my jokes.  She used to get off the bus at Council House Street.

She was fair, tall and slim and carried herself so well. From her looks I thought she was from Kashmir.

I looked forward to the meeting her each day. As days went by I waited for her to board the bus with bated breath and when she boarded she glanced to her right and always caught my eye; was there a smile! Was it for me! I wondered!

She boarded the bus after I did and got off before I did, so never I got a chance to speak to her.

One day, I boarded the bus after she did. As I clambered up she looked at me, looked away and then looked at me again with disbelief. Her eyes froze in shock and she looked down at my elbow crutch and gait. Rest of the journey she never looked towards me. As usual she got off at Council House Street. She walked away briskly, not looking even once in my direction. She wiped her eyes I thought, but am not sure!

I never saw her again, never got to know her name and never got to know what went through her mind.

I still wonder ‘Tume mujhe dekha…kya dekha’

 

Story Telling- A therapy

 

Most of the diseases worldwide are curable. Modern medicines are building in such a way day by day that we can rebuild limbs and regrow skin, rewire our brain circuitry, replace organs, restore hearing and sight, and cure once-fatal diseases with a few doses of medicine. But what about the ones which cannot be cured, rebuild, or healed with expensive medical treatments?  

Our body consists of a lot of parts and there is a different kind of a pain in every part. Every pain needs different treatment. Emotional and mental health issues can be cured by storytelling. As it allows you to express your emotions through art without directly talking about them. 

Narrative therapy is a form of therapy that aims to separate the individual from the problem, allowing the individual to externalize their issues rather than internalize them.

Folklore scholar SunWolf explains that therapists have claimed the phrase “Once upon a time” can have a hypnotic effect on people. Listening to oral stories can bring a significant change in your life.

Storytelling may not be biologically effective the way any surgery is but it helps patients to heal in a better way than medicines. Storytelling has been proven one of the best ways to cope up with depression, anxiety, and other anger issues. Therapists often ask a question that when was the last time you shared a story? The reason behind this is that they test when was the last time you shared your feelings and thoughts with the world as stories are directly connected to your emotions and feelings.  

You may be living a dark low life but with this historic art of storytelling, you can surely find a way for your life. 

 Investment with negative return

There comes a point in your life when you realise that you have invested lots of time and heart in nursing hopes, expectations and beliefs that are false. 

- This is how people should treat me

- This is how people should be

- My children should live by the example I set

- My attitude towards people, things and life are valid for all times to come

- Many such beliefs

I am not able to drop them though the return on these investments have become negative, because of the time and heart invested 

I resolve to have the courage and honesty to drop all such false beliefs, hopes and expectations.

I discover that so much of space is cleared. I am free and I have set those I have kept caged in my mind, free.

I am comfortable being myself.

 A close friend taught me invaluable lessons on how to interact with people who have borderline mental instability:

Keep your communication objective and polite. Don't provoke them into any kind of reaction

They behave they do because of the surge and swing of emotions. Don't be judgemental. 

Listen to them with empathy.  You don't have to agree with everything they say.

Most importantly, don't pester them with questions because it pushes them off whatever stability they have been able to make for themselves.

Finally, don't get emotionally close to them 

 Once in a forest a tiger and a donker got into a debate. The donkey insisted that the grass was blue in colour and the tiger said it was green. Finally they took the debate to the King of the Jungle. 

The King heard both the sides and ruled in favour of the donkey and sent the tiger to an year in prison.

The tiger sought a private audience with the King of the Jungel and said, "you know the grass is green, why did you agree with the donkey and on top of send me to prison for an year?"

The King sighed and replied, 'The punishment is not claiming that the grass is green which I know is correct, it was fordebating with a donkey!"

How often in life do we debate with donkeys!

No pain No gain

 

This is a conversation between two pieces of marble in a museum. One piece of marble is at the doorstep whereas the other one is an exquisite piece sculpted to perfection. People from all over the world come to the museum, step on the marble at the doorstep without even a second thought and go inside to see the sculpted piece of marble with awe and admiration. 

The marble at the doorstep complained to the sculpted one that no one ever notices it but everyone loves to see and admire the sculpted one. 

The sculpted marble replies, “Don’t you remember that we were together in the same box? The sculptor took you out first and started chiselling you but you resisted as you could not bear the pain. You crumbled and the sculptor exasperated picked me up. I too felt the pain inflicted by the sculptor, but I realised that no pain, no gain and if I want to be something special, I will have to let go and surrender to the will of the sculptor. I went through all the pain and was transformed into the most exquisite piece. It was your choice not to give in to the pain.”

When I first heard this story, I thought to myself – oh wow what an amazing explanation!

Gold is subjected to intense heat in order to be purified. Similarly in our lives, the problems the trials and tribulations act as catalysts for our purification. 

Michael Angelo, the famous painter and sculptor was once asked how he created such masterpieces. He gave a beautiful answer. He said the masterpiece is already present in the marble, he just chips away the superfluous around it.

All of us undergo trials and tribulations, problems and anxieties in our lives which is at times bewildering. (I speak only for myself). Even after hearing so much of wise sayings and the Law of Karma, we feel depressed and anxious.

At least now I have the realisation that whatever is happening in our lives is a purification process ordained by Cosmic Intelligence. This is an opportunity to inch closer to Dharma, align our priorities, values, thoughts, words and actions to a bigger purpose in life.

(author Mohan Krishna is a Storyteller, Happiness Coach)